Life and Times

When she first got sick did she wait to see a doctor because she didn't have health insurance? How long was she sick before she had to see a doctor, even though she couldn't afford it? Was it sudden? Was she in a lot of pain? Did she make dozens of calls to various charitable agencies - humbled by her need of help? Was the diagnosis quick, or did she endure endless tests, needles, trips to the lab to see "Dracula"? Did she pay the mounting medical bills by selling possession after possession - little pieces of her soul like pebbles on the beach? When she found out did she ask "why me?" only to have that low smooth voice inside her head reply "why not you?" Did she think that God had overestimated her ability to cope with adversity? Did she cry alone in the shower because the water felt like shards of glass shattering her skin, instead of liquid droplets?

Does she walk with a cane, weaving like a sorority girl returning home from a frat party? Do people not look her in the eye - but look through her or past her right shoulder? Do the elderly now open doors for her - smiling that tender smile? Does she hide her hands when they tremble too much? Does she wake up in the night with her limbs twitching and forget where she is? Does she have a best friend she can talk to?? Does she count out her medication carefully so she isn't tempted by those three a.m. siren calls - like mermaids to the fisherman? Does she still hate to ask for help - especially from family? Does she have a cat who will stay with her on those days she's too sick to get up - trying to purr away the pain and hurt? Does she always have a Plan A and B? Does she worry about the future?

Does she laugh and smile because life goes on, and holds promise each day she opens her eyes? I do.

Love Always, Darci